Murphy’s Law

Bogger turned city slicker Kieran Murphy takes us on a self indulgent journey of his life in Dublin. Having climbed the Himalayas and shifted every person in the vicinity of Gorby’s, he decided to try his luck in the big Shmoke.

When you’re an Arts student, going to the bathroom is a daunting task. While toilet cubicles are usually a place of sanctuary for people to relieve themselves in a variety of ways, in UCD, each cubicle is littered with profanities about Arts students, with “Arts Degree: Take One” being written above every single toilet roll holder, digging at our collective academic souls. Now this slander has reached its way onto Facebook with the newly created group “The Awkwardness When an Arts Student Talks About Their Future Prospects.” We’re not even safe in our own homes anymore.

When people view an Arts student, they imagine unwashed individuals who stroll into college at 2pm to sit one of five of their only lectures that week, more than likely relating to Greek Philosophy or some tripe like that. People are wrong though; Arts students are industrious, much like the Chinese. Whereas General Mao taught his people to produce and prepare, Arts students are self-taught to bullshit and get lucky. Week after week we work hard to scrape together essays minutes before the deadline and getting A’s on them just because our tutor likes the sound of our name (Storm Power anyone?). We are able to explain any piece of Joyce’s work with such authority that you won’t know that we haven’t read anything he’s ever touched let alone know the proper pronunciation of Ulysses.

It’s skills like these that make Arts students the most equipped of all, and actually have gone onto prominent positions in every day Irish life. For example, wife of Bono, Ali Hewson, has a BA in Sociology from UCD and has gone onto the very important role of Bono’s Wife. Former Miss World, Rosanna Davison has completed a BA in Art History and has given back to the community by raising awareness about the benefits of pork by standing on Grafton Street in a Bikini holding a breakfast roll. It’s people like these that I look up to as I write my presentation on why Alice in Alice’s Adventures of Wonderland was anorexic, knowing some day I too can give back to the world, just like them. Kieran Murphy, BA: Employed by the IMF….

Kieran is an Arts student in UCD; he is the Fashion Editor for the University Observer.

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