10 things I love about College Road

So we’ve all walked up and down it a thousand times, but have you really appreciated the simple, understated beauty of College Road?

  1. Mongkok Chinese– I’m pretty sure God invented this place just for me. Open until one and home of the world’s sexiest 4 in 1 with black bean sauce. The guy there doesn’t even ask what I want any more, just throws it at me when I walk in. Kinda makes me feel like a bit of a fatty really. (021 496 6896)
  2. The IRA Graffiti in the Footpath– I just think it’s funny, okay?
  3. That One House with the Hot Guys Who Are Always Sitting Outside Drinking Cans and Lazily Playing with Hurleys– You know the one.
  4. Curl Up n’Dye– I have no idea of the quality of this salon, I just think the name is clever. Then again I just googled it and I found about forty other salons with the same name, so I guess they’re not as clever as I thought. That’s kinda disappointing. (021 427 2637)
  5. The Condom Hedges– For all your used condom needs, the hedges of College Road are always fully stocked! I like to make up stories about how they got there on my way to college in the mornings.
  6. College Road Pharmacy– I am a fan of this place because they sold me (or rather someone I sent) two pregnancy tests which I have gotten favourable results from. It must be a lucky pharmacy. You should go there if you don’t like babies. (021 434 0455)
  7. The Power Line with the Shoes on Them– According to wiki, shoes on power lines (or “shoefiti”) signify the presence of a crack dealer, someone who has lost their virginity, a gang’s territory, or simply that your shoes suck so you threw them at a power line. I like to think it was the last one cause crack scares me.
  8. Daybreak– They have some really sexy hot chicken rolls here, let me tell you. Plus there’s always loads of ladish types standing outside smoking, looking hard, and wearing blue jumpers with their hoods up.
  9. Kiwi– What a great place. Pretty cheap place to get hot food and run into people you want to run into. Plus I like the toilets here because it’s where I took one of them pregnancy tests I was on about earlier. They must be lucky too.
  10. 10.  My House– I’m not saying which one it is, just that it’s pretty awesome. Come around for tea sometime. I’ll make you a cuppa.

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