Films of 2011: Coming soon to a cinema near you!

Jennie Brosnan marks the dates on your calendar you can’t afford to miss, and the ones you probably should.

Ok 2010 might not be the most memorable year for films. We had Inception, the amazing Toy Story 3, Alice in Wonderland, one of the many many Harry Potter films and the re-release of the much over-hyped Avatar for those poor souls who missed it the first time but there wasn’t much that stuck out. Hopefully 2011 will show a little more promise.

Here’s your month by month guide of what to expect in the world if cinema this year!

January:

Season of the Witch- Starring Nicolas Cage with magnificent locks and a sword. Explains itself really.

The Way Back- True Story about Serbian POWs making their way home. A bit heavy for the beginning of the year but bound to win something at the Oscars. Colin Farrell stars.

The King’s Speech- Tipped to be the performance of Colin Firths career as stammering King George, who was never meant to be King, and the unorthodox way he overcomes his impediment. Geoffery Bush and Helen Bonham-Carter also star.

February:

Gnomeo and Juliet- Disney’s attempt at making Shakespeare fun. If some of the best lecturers in the English Dept can’t then what made them think they could? James McAvoy and Emily Blunt lend their voices to this animated adventure.

Hall Pass – Owen Wilson is back and doing what he does best; films that are good for a cheap laugh and easy to forget. Hall Pass looks to be the usual guys’ comedy or the slightly uncomfortable date movie with inappropriate sex scenes that will make you cringe. On the good side Alyssa Milano and Christina Applegate feature.

March:

Rango- A computer-animated film about a pet that runs away from home on a journey of self-discovery. With the vocal talents of the lovely Johnny Depp.

Jane Eyre- Excitement! Hopefully an adaption worthy of the big screen with the talent of Michael Fassbender (Kerry man) and Mia Wasikowska.

April (Study Month not Doss Month):

Scream 4 – Hopefully Courtney Cox will die this time.

Arthur- A comedy starring Russell Brand. What else? Basically he likes women that his family don’t. Also, did I mention he’s very wealthy? Yeah, wealthy and stupid. Great combination.

May (although we’ll all be sitting exams so why bother?):

The First Avenger: Captain America- Chris Evans (the hot guy from Fantastic Four) takes the lead in what is hoped to be the start of many summer blockbusters. Features some Austin Powers style human freezing.

Pirates of the Caribbean 4- Johnny Depp isn’t back without pretty boy Bloom or whiny Knightley thankfully. Instead we get Penelope Cruz and Geoffery Rush.  Who needs a plot?

The Hangover 2- What can these guys get up to next? Set in Bangkok with cameo appearances by Liam Neeson and Bill Clinton. Nice start to the summer!

June:

Cars 2- A sequel! How surprising. An animated film about talking cars. Owen Wilson stars.

Kung Fu Panda 2- Jack Black and Angelina Jolie are back in the sequel to the 2008 hit. What else can he do? Learn Karate?!

Transformers 3- Seriously. Yeah I know.

July:

The Avengers- This will hopefully make my summer. Bring together Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Downey Jr and Chris Evans (the hot guy from before) and kick the crap out of some bad guys with a great soundtrack.  Sounds like fun! Anyone want to take me?

Harry Potter (the final final one)- It’s here! We all know what happens by now. If not, what the hell did you do with your childhood? Shame on you (Loads of people die including one of the ginger lads).

August:

The Smurfs- Neil Patrick Harris stars as one of the few small blue people in this live-action/CGI hybrid summer blockbuster about the Smurfs messing up and ending up in New York in the present day. Katy Perry unfortunately appears in the form of a smurfette, she’s come a long way since marrying Russell Brand.

Final Destination 5- Just kill the lot and take that Courtney Cox one with you if she survives Scream 4!

September:

Hotel Transylvania- Animated film with monsters. Supposed to be a comedy, although I don’t see how!

A Dolphin’s Tale- The synopsis is actually depressing to write about but at least Morgan Freeman is around to save the day.

October:

Paranormal Activity 3- What else can happen?

The Three Musketeers- Orlando Bloom managed to find another way of using a sword and it wasn’t on himself. Let’s hope he doesn’t make a balls out of this classic.

November:

Puss in Boots- The feisty puss is back and without the ogre in tow! This is actually about Puss before he met Shrek that fateful day way back in Shrek 2 before we were sick of it. With the vocal talents of Antonio Banderas.

Breaking Dawn Part 1- Oh yes, it’s only the first part. Sorry lads, the second part is dragged out all the way into 2012. R-Patz is here for at least another year with the scowling pain in the neck also known as Kristen Stewart.

December:

Sherlock Holmes 2- The eccentric detective is back with the all amazing Stephen Fry as his older and more intelligent brother Mycroft. Things might start to get interesting!

The Hobbit Part 1- Rumoured for release on New Year’s Eve 2011 but who knows? Martin Freeman is set to star as Bilbo Baggins, Ian McKellan is back as Gandalf and Andy Serkis reprises his role Gollum and his precious. Check it out!!!

That’s the coming year in a nutshell. Some people may eat me for leaving out films like Mission Impossible with the midget Tom Cruise or whatever else but I don’t see you writing here! You’ll be much too busy in the cinema no doubt! Happy New Year!

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