Welcome to the final installment of the Ents section as presented by myself & Mssr. Murph – it’s been pretty awesome to run a full 6 (!) issues this academic year and it’s been especially awesome to write Ents. In honour of the occasion, and because I’m pretty cheesy, I thought it’d be pretty fitting to wrap up Motley’s Ents Section 2010/11 by recounting some of our favourite movie endings. Warning – this may get teary. Oh, and spoilers ahoy!

Amadeus

Milos Forman’s 1984 adaptation of Peter Shaffer’s play is probably one of the more beautiful, entertaining and generally good films of all time: it tells the (mostly fictionalised) story of how Mozart (here portrayed by Tom Hulce as childish, vulgar and incredibly talented – with a very annoying laugh) was (indirectly) murdered by a musical rival at the time, the scheming and insanely jealous Salieri (F. Murray Abraham). The final scene opens with the conclusion of Salieri’s story – he is now infirm and confined to an asylum long after Mozart’s death. The young priest to whom he confessed is visibly shaken, disturbed and clinging to his crucifix – as Salieri is wheeled out of the room, he pauses to speak to the priest. Mozart’s Piano Concerto in D Minor creeps into the background. “I will speak for you, Father,” he says. “I speak for all mediocrities in the world. I am their champion. I am their patron saint.” The final shots are of the ancient Salieri, once a great composer, being wheeled down the corridor of the asylum, crying out to the madmen he’s surrounded with – “Mediocrities of the world – I absolve you!” – before leaning back. He closes his eyes, folds his hand, and opens his mouth. Mozart’s laugh emerges. Fade to black. The scene gave me goosebumps the first time I watched it – a disturbing end to an incredible film.

Midnight Cowboy

Midnight Cowboy is an odd one. It’s the story of Joe (Jon Voight), a young Texan who comes to New York to make it as a male prostitute. He meets Ratso (Dustin Hoffman), who initially scams him out of money before the two make friends in the face of extreme poverty, unemployment and a harsh winter. Ratso, while a shady character, is also sick: he wants to make it out of New York and with worsening health, the two attempt to hire Joe out as a stud. Increasingly desperate and after a string of disturbing sexual encounters, Joe beats and robs a customer, and the two depart for Miami on a bus. However, Ratso is incredibly ill, and just as Joe wonders aloud about their new life in Miami, he realises Ratso has died beside him. Joe alerts the bus driver, who replies there is nothing left to do but continue to Miami, and Joe sits beside his dead friend, watching the landscape change outside. Seriously sombre stuff after an hour and a half of gritty drama, but highly recommended.

Being There

“Life is a state of mind” are the last lines of this brilliant film, starring Peter Sellers as Chance the Gardener, a simple-minded middle-aged man who, after years of peaceful isolation tending the garden of a wealthy townhouse in Washington DC, is turned out on the streets when its owner dies. Chance, dressed well but old-fashioned, wanders aimlessly until he is hit by the car of Ben Rand, a wealthy businessman and close aide to the President. Mistaking Chance the Gardener for “Chauncey Gardiner” (a mispronunciation), Rand and his wife (Shirley Maclaine) also mistake Chance’s simple musings about gardening (“As long as the roots are not severed, all is well. And all will be well in the garden”) for sage comments on the economy. He becomes an advisor to the President, appears on television and is offered book deals – all the while oblivious to what occurs around him. Finally, the terminally ill Rand dies: the final scene is his funeral. Chance wanders away once more, tends to a sapling and continues to stroll across the surface of a small lake. A few strides in, he pauses, pushes his umbrella down through the water as if to test its depth, and continues on his way. Is any interpretation sufficient? Roger Ebert says this of Being There: “The movie presents us with an image, and while you may discuss the meaning of the image, it is not permitted to devise explanations for it. Since Ashby does not show a pier, there is no pier – a movie is exactly what it shows us, and nothing more.”

Kids

I don’t like Kids. I’m pretty hard to shock when it comes to movies, but there’s something really ugly about this one – also, the early 90s clothes and jargon make it a hard one to relate to, whatever your socioeconomic status. That said, however, its ending is really something -  it’s the story of Telly, a 17 year old skater from New York who really likes sex but only deflowers virgins on the premise that this will protect him from STDs. Telly’s friends are cinema’s stereotypical teenaged sex, booze and drug addicts: all except Jenny (Chloe Sevigny), who has only ever had sex with Telly and has just discovered that she has HIV. For the rest of the movie, she attempts to find the also-HIV positive Telly, who has since had sex with many young girls, eventually finding him at a house party, having sex with a 13 year old girl. Exhausted and under the influence of party drugs, she passes out only for Telly’s friend Casper (Justin Pierce) to rape her, thus exposing himself to HIV. The final shot opens on a naked Casper, who wakes up, looks around in disbelief and asks the camera, “Jesus Christ, what happened?” It’s shocking and a little viewer-exploitative, but it works.

Some Like it Hot

It’s hard not to love Some Like it Hot: if you’ve not seen it, get out and get it, now – even if you don’t like older movies, SLiH is a treat. Mostly because it’s aged extremely well – you’ll get every one of the jokes, all the laughs are still intact and man, Marilyn Monroe is very sexy here. It’s the story of two musicians, Jerry (Jack Lemmon) and Joe (Tony Curtis) who witness a gangster shooting and flee the scene, disguising themselves as Josephine (Curtis) and Daphne (Lemmon) and joining a woman’s touring band. There they meet Sugar Kane (Monroe), whom Curtis falls in love with. He proceeds to disguise himself as a millionaire to win her over, while Daphne is unwillingly romanced by Osgood, another millionaire. It’s very zany, very clever, wonderfully witty – and its final scene is its best. Joe reveals himself to Sugar, who loves him anyway, while Osgood and the still-disguised Jerry escape in a boat. Jerry reveals “herself” to Osgood -

Jerry: Osgood, I’m gonna level with you. We can’t get married at all.

Osgood: Why not?

Jerry: Well, in the first place, I’m not a natural blonde.

Osgood: Doesn’t matter.

Jerry: I smoke! I smoke all the time!

Osgood: I don’t care.

Jerry: Well, I have a terrible past. For three years now, I’ve been living with a saxophone player.

Osgood: I forgive you.

Jerry: [Tragically] I can never have children!

Osgood: We can adopt some.

Jerry: But you don’t understand, Osgood!

[Pulls off wig]

Jerry: I’m a man!

Osgood: Well, nobody’s perfect!

And they ride off into the sunset. End scene. What a perfect close.

Motley means “miscellaneous and varied”; when we started this work in August, I wanted to embody that spirit. In the last year, we’ve published pieces about everything under the sun, and the people who made that possible are the Motley Crew, the most varied group you could find. I am very thankful to each and every writer, editor, photographer, model and contributor from this year. Without their talent, hard work and help, Motley would not happen every month. You can see each of their names on the inside cover- they all have my major respect and thanks.

Staffing Motley was difficult; there were over 30 applications, over 20 interviews and some of the selections were near impossible to make. At the end of it all, we made a brilliant team of people who gave it socks for the past six months. To Michael, Adam, Kellie, John, Siobhán, Audrey, Kathryn and Andrew, thank you so much for putting up with me, listening to me, hearing me out when I moaned or groaned, and working with me to make this the very best we could. Legends, every last one of you- I won’t forget the huge amount of work that each of you gave to this, and to me.

Muire deserves a paragraph of her own, but I won’t embarrass her too much. Each month, she took immense time and effort to design Motley on her own, all 48 pages, and we gave her a blank canvas to work with. What she made is a testament to her talent, and it was really something to work with someone who made Motley into art month after month. Each issue it got better and better- something as incredulous six months on as her design was at the very beginning. Thank you.

I don’t want to drag this out too long, but there are a few people who deserve thanks that you might not know about. Daithi Linnane gave me this job; he gave me free reign to do with Motley what I wished. I’d like to think, at the end of this year, that we achieved at least a little of what we hoped for, and at least a little of what he expected. After two years of working with him on media in UCC, he’ll always be a friend of mine. Fidelma Burnell in the SU deserves a big ole box of chocolates for letting us store Motley with her for a few days each month. I do appreciate that- thanks for forcing us to distribute the magazine, rain, hail or shine- and especially when we didn’t feel like it!

Student media is a funny beast. With no professional help, extremely little money, no proper equipment and nothing but the ideas in our heads, we started this journey at an awkward meeting in August. Nobody knew each other, and we had nothing to build on; we had to start from scratch. It’s a reassuring thing that we made it to this point, six issues later- a goal that at the time seemed titanic. It’s a testament to the people listed here that we made it.

There are doubtless people I have forgotten, and people who’ll feel they ought to have been mentioned; they’re probably correct, and deserve the same thanks and praise.

For Audrey Dearing, Alan Parkes, Kieran Murphy  and Keith O Brien: you people rock my boat, and I’m beyond grateful for your help, love and support. Dinner and drinks on me at any time, day or night. And bail money should you ever need it.

And last, but in no way least, to the Parents and the Brother, who are the ones to make me tea when I need it and give out to me when I need to get moving on things; thank you kindly for the tough love and the kind love. Someday, I’ll pay you back.

Music Editor

Or at least that’s what everyone from Lester Bangs in Cameron Crowe’s Almost Famous to recent blogs on the NME website would have you believe.

I’m doing my best to not adopt a faux-hippie accent when I claim that rock as an art form cannot die – it is not simply a genre: rock & roll is an ideal, a way of life. Man.

Traditional rock & roll music methods, however, are as close to death as they can ever get. Earlier this year, the White Stripes finally split. This was not the earth-shattering shock that major press publications made it out to be, more the inevitable final nail in the coffin of a long lingering elephant in the room.

What it did mean though, aside from countless new projects that Jack White will undoubtedly bring to the table, was that one of the final success stories to achieve such a level through traditional methods was no more. Alongside the Strokes, the White Stripes rebooted the down and out guitar genre around the turn of the century.

More impressive, in comparison to modern means at least, was the methods used to achieve this jolt: the Stripes’ did it the traditional way. The played gigs, they got their songs on the radio and their names into magazines – they grafted and it paid off.

Since then, their success has been eclipsed by any number of bands – Arcade Fire, Arctic Monkeys, Vampire Weekend, the xx – the list goes on. However, not one of these bands achieved the same level of success by the same means. The joke can often be heard in indie circles – what came first: Arcade Fire, or Pitchfork? Whichever is the case, Pitchfork’s online championing of the Canadians was crucial to the success of Butler, Chassagne and co. on both sides of the Atlantic.

Arctic Monkeys and Lily Allen can both lay claim to being the first “true” MySpace act to break – until, of course, somebody points out to Lily Allen that her signature to a major record label prior to using the site probably helped in some way. Arctic Monkeys were able to bring the frenetic, energetic ‘Fake Tales of San Francisco’ to thousands of bedrooms without the input of booking agents, press contacts or a record label. All through the magic of the internet…

The act featured on this week’s “Introducing…” section is Dublin group the Cast of Cheers, an act who brilliantly utilised the potential of the internet. They gave away debut album Chariot for absolutely nothing via Bandcamp – the result? Massive exposure on blogs and sites all over the country.

How many plays did the guys get on the radio prior to this bold move? Somewhere in the region of zero, one could suspect.

Rock & roll is alive and kicking, but the traditional aspects of “making it” have gone out the window: YouTube, Last.fm, Bandcamp and Facebook – what more could you possibly need? The means to reach millions in seconds: it is startling.

The industry wheels are spluttering, faltering in the face of the challenges that the internet has presented. Credit where it’s due, however, to Irish label the Richter Collective. Faced with the prospect of unmanageable illegal downloads, RC uploaded the entirety of its back catalogue (including Adebisi Shank, the Redneck Manifesto, Enemies and Not Squares) to Soundcloud for the free enjoyment of listeners.

Such innovative utilisation of the tools is what will make the difference – five years ago it was Arctic Monkeys with MySpace, this year it’s Richter Collective with Soundcloud. Rock & roll is not dead, ladies and gentlemen, but rather evolving. Move with it, or be left lamenting the death of a timeless friend that has, quite simply, moved on.

Sticking with the evolution theme, this week we have a look at the stuttering institution of music journalism, the best in modern song-writing, while we also run the rule over the new album from Radiohead, an act never afraid to evolve. Fashion editor Lynn Harding also moonlights over here to give us her input on the expanding Cork music scene, while there is plenty more to enjoy within these pages if you look closely.

Position of Editor in Chief is also available. Applications must be received by 9pm on the 18th of March. Attach CV with relevant work experience. Email Editor@uccexpress.ie and deputy@uccsu.ie

Entertainment Editor

Now that title grabbed your attention. I’m sorry to disappoint but I won’t be talking about what it is you might expect. I refer rather to a time, many moons ago, when entertainment did not mean watching 105 minutes of Justin Bieber in 3D, rather it meant productively watching plastic stars and clouds rotate on a mobile: pure quality.

This issue however we will not be looking at the latest products on offer from Mothercare, we will be skipping forward a year or three to the days in which television was introduced. Pokémon, CatDog, Hey Arnold and the occasional dabbling in Mona the Vampire offered us a source of animated bliss playing greatly on the innocence and purity of our untainted minds.

Beg you then the question of what it was that prompted this bout of nostalgia. A recent trip to Dramat’s Such A Local Row is what sparked my fond reverie. As the play brought us back to our youth when bottles of Score and packets of Taytos awaited us in the hall following a match, it tapped into that same aforementioned innocence and purity.

Whatever about the play, throughout the entire first half, one particularly young member of the audience would not and could not stop laughing. The child’s giggle was so unrestricted and so fearless that it couldn’t help but give you that warm and fuzzy feeling inside. Henceforth the smile crept across my face and my mind drifted to the days of party rings and bouncy castles.

Such simple days are long gone it would seem yet there is something about a cartoon or silly joke which you cannot help but to allow your inner child to light up. This issue takes a look at two of the cartoons that have recently hit our cinemas. As Emma gets all Tangled up in Disney, we find out whether Brian should’ve stayed at gnome. Each offers an animated twist on a classic story and we see if Disney can do them justice.

Don’t worry it’s not all skipping games and card swapping, as I review the new Shameless and Skins, I’ll bring you back to the present with quite a bump. Vodka, vomit and virginity are what it’s all about here and in the US. In Downton 1912 however it is a different story and Eimear O’Connor takes us to this stately home, offering us a welcome break.

Following last night’s somewhat predictable Oscar Awards, James Campion justifies True Grit’s nominations and Susan O’Sullivan takes a look at the politics behind it all. Films are what everyone is talking about this week. For this reason there is no better time to take a look at some of the best and avoid some of the worst, namely Big Momma’s House, says Thomas Crowley.

In the season of awards, UCC’s first Media Ball took place last night which saw the finest of writers and presenters awarded for their work within student media. A great night was had by all, for which the Journalism Society is owed great credit.

I’ll now take this opportunity to reward my writers and all involved with the UCC Express with gratitude beyond measure for another excellent issue.

Enjoy the read.

Entertainments Editor

John Anthony Barker and six other friends like a link dude, she just said you were from UCC! Oh gosh, hold my cigar and Chardonnay! Criticism doesn’t really stop at movies, books, plays and the likes; rather it reaches every corner of every aspect of life. In the recent outbreak of Facebook groups we have managed, in the twenty first century, to create a whole new range of stereotypes.

They are funny, granted, but where do they stop? In a couple of weeks after it all dies down? Maybe. By then, however, the damage has already been done and lines of difference have already been highlighted. The notion of UCC students believing they are better is one which I have never really understood.

I won’t deny that UCC is indeed of a very high standard, but to say it is higher than competing colleges seems to me to border upon nonsense and embellish childishness. Technically, in regards to facilities provided and degree programmes offered, then maybe it can be said that the college offers a more rounded education or internationally recognised certificate upon graduation.

However, to walk down the streets at night I see students from all educational institutions in the same drunken state, throwing up in the same back alley, gorging on the same breast-in-a-bun (not literally – unless in rare occasions) and getting up to no good with the nearest horny student. Nothing snobbish about that now is there? The unity that alcohol brings is therefore nothing short of inspirational right?

Wrong. Referring once again to the UCC example, it is not the students of UCC that create this image of supposed higher standards; rather it is those of weaker principles. If this is to demonstrate the higher standard of mentality, then I am happy to be the Chardonnay amongst the Pinot Gritio.

There is nothing wrong with the Pinot Gritio, in fact it has made a fine pre-drink at times, yet if needs must then I will set my sights a little higher and not take heed to the criticism of the weak-minded. I will continue to study for my BA, yet I will not continue to defend my studying of the arts, rather I will emphasise how, following graduation, to teach would be the fulfilling of one of my many ambitions.

If 2011 is indeed set to be a year of higher standards then the world of cinema is certainly keeping in tow. Having kicked off the year with major triumphs such as the King’s Speech and Black Swan, what lies ahead is what might only be described as exciting, gripping, spectacular and other such cinematic buzz words. Today’s issue features reviews on both mentioned films. They’re not to be missed.

If movies aren’t quite enough, we’ve got everything from the typical love story, the rock and roll lifestyle and the ultimate adventure, in the line of books. Find out what it is that makes them a cut above the rest…

As for TV, the year has kicked off with a new series of Jersey Shore, Skins, Greys Anatomy and the new Pretty Little Liars. Jam-packed much? I think so. The Express provides the best of the box, so catch it now and stay tuned for even more. And that’s a wrap! No it isn’t. Drama doesn’t end with the rolling credits.

The stage has even more to offer. Dramat have kicked off their second term with the success of a short play festival and a musical. The excitement continues. With a brand new play and a hit film being brought to the Granary theatre, it’s the perfect spot for a night of endless talent. Looking further afield than our own theatre, Cork Opera House are offering spectacular deals for UCC students on King Lear, as are the Everyman Theatre introducing brand new special offers. Get on that.

Do believe the hype!

So I’m gonna be completely Tiny Tim here, and tell you to smile ridiculously at every cheesy song, wrap presents with seriously awesome amounts of ribbon, buy gifts that people will actually like, and start to ignore the news a little bit. I guarantee that it will be full of budgets, cuts, gory deficits and neat puns on the words “Fianna” and “Fail”. Regardless, you’ve heard it before, and Christmas is so not the time for it.

Welcome to the Christmas Issue of Motley; it’s slightly over the top to give you Christmas on December 1^st, but sometimes it’s fun to do something mental. And, y’know, it fitted our schedule…

Enjoy Christmas, drink some of our eggnog, and let us know how the recipe worked for you! See you in January 2011!

Karen O’Mahony

Deputy Features Editor

‘Time is flying, never to return’. So said Virgil back in the day (an awful long time ago) but chances are, if he was still around today, he’d have the exact same sentiment. After a mere few weeks, or so it seems, of settling back into college life, we’re suddenly being bombarded with Christmas advertising, Christmas songs and Christmas lights. And moustaches, of course! The brave men who sacrificed their faces and most likely their love lives too, for the month of November only have one more week to go.

Credit is due to all those who participated in Movember. They endured all those itchy moments; all those horrified glances at their upper lip and chin; and all the jeers and laughs if three weeks of not shaving only yielded a light shadow above their mouth and some straggly fair hairs-  all for charity.

This time of year seems to bring out the hidden philanthropist in all of us. Perhaps it’s something about the dark, cold and wet winter evenings that makes us realise how good we actually have it…well, how good we have it this year anyway! Around this time last year, we were wading around in floods and people were trying to salvage their homes and businesses after being decimated by dirty flood water. This year, we can still use the Mardyke facilities, sleep in our own beds at night and go into any UCC building without needing Wellies and waterproofs. I have to say though; another surprise week of holidays would be welcome any time!

It’s hard to believe that all of that was only a year ago and it goes back to what I said at the start about time flying. Life goes by in a whirlwind. There’s a saying that life is what happens when you’re busy doing something else and it’s so true! Days, months and years merge into the next and before you know it, you’ve reached the end of an era. The Harry Potter phenomenon which began we were children is finally coming to an end with part 1 of the final film out now.

Back when the first Harry Potter book came out, most of us probably had no internet access. It’s hard to imagine now that we’re so consumed with it, with our compulsive email-checking, random fact-checking and aimless time on Facebook facilitated by wireless broadband.  But yes, there was a time before all of that dominated our lives. In this issue, Bridget O’Riordan casts her mind back to those innocent pre-internet days and looks at how it’s changed our life.

Of course, it’s not just the internet that has changed our life. Over the course of a few years, there has been a seismic change in the national zeitgeist. Years ago, the stereotypical Irish person was ubiquitous. We all ate potatoes every day- it didn’t matter what you ate with them; the humble spud was the centrepiece of the meal. We watched things like Glenroe on TV and were scandalised by Miley’s affair with Fidelma.

The furthest we ever went was to England on the ferry- or on an Aer Lingus flight if you were rich. Nowadays, we have things like reality television and public masturbation at 30,000 feet – although I don’t think the latter is a trend that will catch on! We’ve got foreign travel, a more diverse society and countless more opportunities in life (check out our article on volunteering with Suas). Life goes by fast so enjoy every moment that you possibly can. Carpe diem!

Originally published in the 23/11/2010 edition of the UCC Express

News Editor/Deputy Editor

As you may have guessed from the above Nietzsche quote, I’m not speaking about economics this week. No, you see I am a terrible offender when it comes to putting things on the long finger, and a fully fledged subscriber to that old idiom “Hard work pays off in the future, but procrastination pays off now”. So this year I learned the most recent of many lessons decrying this practice, when I continually put off my defection from the Catholic Church month after month, assuming the opportunity to do it would wait until I had a lot of free time. Well it didn’t, and they closed the window of availability for defection earlier in the year, leaving me a fully signed up member of the church I was brought up in possibly forever.

Why would this be a problem you ask? Well, this refers to my decision to defect. Almost a year ago I asked myself, all things considered, do I see any connection between this institution and myself? This had nothing to do with me believing or not believing in a god, just the morals which the church attempts to uphold. The answer, I found, was of course not. I’m not homophobic, I’m pro-choice, liberal to the point of individualism and despite the odd joke, not even a supporter of the subjugation of women.

Even more than that, this was the first year I’ve really stepped back and looked at the effect Catholic rule has had on the Western world and it definitely gave me a new perspective. Basically, Catholicism paused European culture in the 4^th century and it didn’t resume until 300 years ago. Since then, well, some pretty cool stuff has happened. Namely science, art, reasonable living conditions, liberalism and free thought.

It didn’t help that I started to study the philosophy of German thinkers like Kant and Hegel at the same time, who stressed the importance of progressiveness and working towards an enlightened society. Funnily enough, they use the Catholic Church as an example of what not to do, treating it as a dead dogma. I began to see their meaning quite quickly, and the image of the church as dead flesh on the body of society began to appear in my mind (albeit guiltily, conditioning will do that). In the context of the Murphy and Ryan reports, along with the church’s appalling stance on human rights, it was clear to me that this necrotic tissue had become cancerous.

Of course the Irish response has been “They do good work all the same” and “We should try and change it from the inside out” but the problem is that’s not how you treat cancer. You treat cancer by cutting it out. So how do we do that? I’m always quick to suggest violence, but there are pacifistic methods also. Next year there’ll be a census, and the religion figures that come out of it will be influential in deciding how much power the church will retain over the next 4 years. If you fully agree with the church’s doctrine and actions, then by all means you should tick the Roman Catholic box. If you don’t really subscribe to their ideals but tick it because your family do, or out of habit, be aware that you’re tacitly supporting everything they do, good and bad. A scary thought indeed.

Originally published in the 23/11/2010 edition of the UCC Express

John Barker

Quite recently, I actually used that ‘I only have two hands’ excuse at home. It was not a proud moment of mine as I immediately joined the ranks of all irate mothers/housewives who become quite flustered around dinner time. The days of childhood bliss where we sought to have both hands free at any time, even as we cycled our little bikes or rode our first rollercoaster, were long gone. Nowadays I am more and more frequently finding myself in that famous pickle of having too little time!

It’s a stress, it really is. It’s also quite sad that because I’m hooked to certain TV shows and they have become like an unavoidable chore, forcing me to sit down and watch. No sooner have I watched this then I have a room to clean, a play to read, an essay to write or a pint to drink! This week in particular has been hectic beyond words but an absolute belter as well. Casting for my short play, then a night out, followed much too closely by the Journo Soc trip to London (for which I must thank our very own Catherine Dennehy for).

Upon flying back I hit Dublin to an absolutely fantastic Diana Vickers gig after which I took the earliest flight possible so I could make my exam! After which came another night out – to celebrate of course! Like I said: stress!

It was such a week that got me thinking. I, for the first time in my life, had to put my hands up and admit that I had bitten off more than I could chew, that’s to say that I had taken on much too much. It was worth it but ridiculous nonetheless. It was after reciting my story to a friend that they suggested one solution to me. It’s a solution of pure genius and one which I would implore everyone to take on. Quite simply the solution was to do five things today that would make tomorrow easier.

Nothing difficult about that really is there? No there isn’t, just so long as you can motivate yourself to do these five things in the first place. Motivation is often something I can struggle with, or at least it is at 12 o’clock at night when I finally get to stop the day’s activities. However, I mustered up a little and took on this new method, which sounds great but would it prove to be? I shan’t lie; my five things were incredibly minute, including laying out my clothes for the morning.

Yet in such an action, I saved myself a significant amount of time as there was no last minute scramble for socks, or the indecisiveness of whether to go with jeans or to slob it out in some form of tracksuit bottoms. I also merely read the essay titles for my upcoming essays, which then left them fresh in my mind for the following day, allowing me to enter the contemplation stage with yet another two weeks to go.

Conclusion: a success! Keeping diaries and making schedules are things that have never worked in my life completely lacking of organisation. This may indeed be just the ticket. Already it has granted me the time to go and see a play and to have an early night; the possibilities are proving to be just endless… Who knows, I may even pop along to a movie, perhaps I’ll go and see Haz in his new film! Or better still I may actually watch XFactor live rather than the recorded show when I get the chance. Win!

Now I am in no way able to juggle but this metaphorical juggling is improving daily so I encourage you too to give it a go! Grab yourself a couple of balls, or alternatively apples and oranges will work as a substitute, and get juggling! Then enjoy becoming the ring master to the circus of your life!